Lost Before I Could Understand
Up and down
Down and up blown in the wind
Stuck in a tunnel with fear of some kind
Wondering when it is safe to get out
Filled with hate and doubt
Running bare foot
Flashes of memories like ashes and my soul it took
Losing control
Doing things I didn’t even know
Asking what I did in my madness is taboo
To me and you
Secrets kept of my madness things I am afraid to know
Suicidal I fear I will go
I am afraid to see what I was
I fear what I am alive with some kind of purpose
A purpose that no one knows not even me
I just wonder will I be
Will I ever be a safe me
Will I return to a safe place
Or will I fear the mirror, seeing the pain in my face
Will the mirror show my eyes
The eyes so evil it caused my demise
The unusual thoughts of regret
The flash backs I could never forget
Little bits of pain
Things that remind me I will never be sane
Others say, yes, oh, yes they will say
“You will be healed someday”
No more drugs holding me together
My mind healed my cares light as a feather
Torment not understood
They convince themselves everything is good, only good
Hate covered with a white clothe that is stained with red
A white cover stained with the blood of things that are suffering, wanting to be dead
Sane, sane
Will I ever be again
No, no, never so
For now I will try
I will try exceedingly until the day I die
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